


Luluflower's Guide to Equestrian Espionage

by Cortesia



Series: Mrs. Aftby's Daycare; or, Kingsman UK [4]
Category: Kingsman: The Secret Service (2015)
Genre: Crack Crossover, Fluff, Gen, Grade A Crack, M/M, my little pony - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:23:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6233209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cortesia/pseuds/Cortesia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At a fickle 4 years old, young Daisy knew many things. She knew she liked toasted cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. She knew her favorite places were the museum of natural history and Mr. Harry's house. And she knew, unequivocally, that Eggsy was not a tailor like he said. Proving it, however, was beginning to be a challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

While the world had gotten back to some semblance of normal after V Day, there was one situation that had yet to be resolved. And if Daisy Louise Unwin had her say about it, she was going to find out the truth once and for all.

 

At a fickle 4 years old, young Daisy knew many things. She knew she liked toasted cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. She knew her favorite places were the museum of natural history and Mr. Harry's house. She knew Mr. Percy and Mr. James were married, and that Mr. James’ legs were like robots. She knew that sometimes Mrs. Aftby would bring her biscuits that Eggsy baked, and they were the best biscuits ever. She knew that Eggsy and Mr. Harry kissed like gross movie-grownups when they thought she was napping. She knew that Eggsy told the absolute best bedtime stories. And she knew, unequivocally, that Eggsy was not a tailor like he said. Proving it, however, was beginning to be a challenge. 

 

She tried asking outright; she tried being as subtle as a 4 year old could manage. She had her mummy ask, and even asked also-not-tailors Mr. Merlin and Auntie Roxy. All she received was a smile, a ruffle of the hair, and a soft, "just a tailor, m'love. Nothing more."

 

She found out the truth, of course, though she never could have anticipated how. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Daisy was happily playing at her daycare at the big tailoring house when her mummy came in with red eyes. Daisy knew that meant mummy had been crying, but mummy hadn't cried since before Eggsy came home with Mr. Harry and started taking Daisy to daycare at the big tailoring house. She watched her mummy speak to Mrs. Aftby, who was secretly Mr. Merlin's mummy, and then she came over.

  
  
“Darling Daisy-lou, big brother is in hospital right now. He’ll be just fine, but he got in a motor accident. I can take you to go see him, but he’s asleep and he’s got a lot of plasters. I don’t want you to be scared, yeah?”

  
  
“Want to see Eggsy, mummy. Won’t be scared.”

  
  
Of course Daisy wanted to see Eggsy; he was her favorite person, ever. Besides, she could probably get the nurses to give him the special Elsa plasters that always fixed her right up. But before they went, she had a very special errand to run.

  
  
“Mummy,” said Daisy, tugging at her mother’s sleeve. “Have to get my Eggsy-book.”

  
  
“The bedtime book? Honey, Eggsy’s already asleep. He can’t read you a story.”

  
  
“I’m reading it to _him_ , mummy.” Mummy got that soft look like she wanted to hug everything, and nodded.

 

“Okay Daisy-lou. We’ll go get your Eggsy-book.”

 

So later, when they settled in to the hospital room (that happened to be very near the daycare Daisy attended, she realized), Daisy opened her hand-made Eggsy-book and began reading.


	3. Chapter 3

_Once upon a time in the land of Equestria, there lived a mummy pegasus, and big brother pegasus, and a baby pegasus. Mummy pegasus, who was named Goldenrod, was kidnapped and had to live in a scary tower with a mean and grumpy dragon named Bean Baker. Sunnyside Up, who was the big brother pony, took great care of his baby sister Luluflower, while they lived at the tower. But one day, he got in trouble with some of Bean Baker’s dragon friends, and they threw him out of the tower, where he was all alone. Scared that Bean Baker might go hurt Goldenrod and Luluflower, Sunnyside Up used a magical amulet to call for help._

_When help came, it was in the form of a rich brown earth pony named Chestnut Oxford. He wore a fancy suit and spoke like he was from the very nicest part of Canterlot. He came and told  Sunnyside Up that if he went with him to a secret suit shop in Canterlot, he could actually learn how to become a super spypony in the service of the five Princesses of Equestria, Celestia, Luna, Cadance, Snowflake, and Twilight Sparkle. Sunnyside Up agreed, but only if Chestnut Oxford could get Bean Baker out of the tower long enough for Goldenrod and Luluflower to escape. Chestnut Oxford agreed, and they hatched a plan._  
  
  
_Chestnut Oxford got a unicorn friend of his, Whisper Mage, to make a terrible thunderstorm above the tower, and it forced Bean Baker to come outside to keep the lanterns lit with his dragon flame. But because the thunderstorm had made it so dark, Sunnyside Up was able to sneak back in to the tower and rescue Goldenrod and Luluflower. He took them to Chestnut Oxford, who had gotten Whisper Mage to use his magic to keep them hidden. Chestnut Oxford took all three of them to Canterlot and gave them a large house with a beautiful garden and plenty of land to roam, courtesy of Princess Celestia._


	4. Chapter 4

_And true to his word, Sunnyside Up went to the secret suit shop and was transported to a super spy school! He wasn’t alone, either. Chestnut Oxford left him in the care of Whisper Mage, who was training a whole class of junior spyponies. Sunnyside Up met a wonderful unicorn named Bannerette, who was secretly the smartest and fastest and trickiest of the whole class. Her older brother Eagle Eye and Eagle Eye’s special somepony Hijinx were both secret spyponies, and had brought her to the spy school to learn. She helped Sunnyside Up when he got stuck, and in return he helped her with her obstacle courses and shyness. Unfortunately, he also met Shining Example, a fast-flying pegasus who made it his goal to beat Sunnyside Up at everything they did. Everypony else in Sunnyside Up’s class was from Canterlot and had a lot of money to spend on whatever they wanted. They had never dealt with an angry dragon before, so Sunnyside Up thought that made him the bravest pony of all.  
_

_  
Eventually, the spy school only had three ponies left: Sunnyside Up, Bannerette, and Shining Example. They each had a test, and Bannerette went first. She was scared, but she remembered her training and passed! And when Sunnyside Up passed his, Chestnut Oxford was waiting for him! They went to wait for Shining Example to finish his test, but he got too scared and didn’t pass. So Sunnyside Up and Bannerette got to take a day off to learn all they could about being a super secret spypony from their mentors. The very next day, Sunnyside Up had the biggest test of all, and he messed it up. Bannerette got made the next super secret spy pony and Sunnyside Up got sent home. Chestnut Oxford was so disappointed in Sunnyside Up that he left for a top secret mission without saying goodbye._

__  
  
But while Chestnut Oxford and Bannerette were busy, an evil pony named Frisky Hearts and his henchpony Silver Shadow tried to take over the world!


	5. Chapter 5

_Sunnyside Up was sad, and had to wait behind when Chestnut Oxford left. But he had one trick up his sleeve: a little spy computer that Chestnut Oxford had given him. So Sunnyside Up watched Chestnut Oxford’s spy mission through the little computer. And he was there to see it when Frisky Hearts and Silver Shadow hurt Chestnut Oxford for trying to stop their evil plot! Sunnyside Up knew he had to help Chestnut Oxford, so he flew as fast as his wings would carry him back to the secret suit shop and went to find Old Guard, the boss of all the other spyponies. But he got there just in time to find out that Old Guard had betrayed the spyponies! He was working with Frisky Hearts and Silver Shadow! Sunnyside Up fought Old Guard and captured him for his crimes! Then, Sunnyside Up went to find Whisper Mage. He got to the secret spy school and found both Whisper Mage and Bannerette, trying to find out Frisky Hearts’ evil plot._

 

_Together, the three ponies traveled to Frisky Hearts’ secret lair in the Snowy Mountains. Bannerette had to use her magic to fly an arrow into a balloon at the very tipsy top of the tallest snowy mountain, and had to overcome her fear of heights. Sunnyside Up and Whisper Mage disguised themselves as Old Guard and his assistant and snuck in to Frisky Hearts’ lair. They found Princess Snowflake and lots of other ponies that had been captured by Frisky Hearts. Whisper Mage said he would stay with princess Snowflake to help free the other ponies, and Sunnyside Up went deeper into the lair to try and stop Frisky Hearts._

 

_He met Silver Shadow, and she fought Sunnyside Up! They battled in the air, since both of them were pegasus ponies. The battle took ages, but Silver Shadow got so tired she fell out of the sky and fell asleep! Sunnyside Up was exhausted, but he had to stop Frisky Hearts’ evil plot. But before he could climb the stairs to reach the other pony, Frisky Hearts got knocked out by a sleeping dart! Chestnut Oxford, who had snuck into the lair even though he was hurt, had shot it! Sunnyside Up couldn’t believe his luck! He and Chestnut Oxford took the captured Frisky Hearts and Silver Shadow back to Canterlot with Old Guard and in front of Princess Celestia, where they were sent to the dungeons. Bannerette and Whisper Mage brought Princess Snowflake back too, and all the other ponies who had been captured._

 

_The other spy ponies voted to make Chestnut Oxford their new spypony boss, and everyone voted that Sunnyside Up should be the newest spypony in their club! Even better, Chestnut Oxford and Sunnyside Up fell in love and became each other’s very special somepony! And Luluflower and Goldenrod got to live in the big house right next door to Chestnut Oxford and Sunnyside Up._

  
_The end._


	6. Chapter 6

“…the end.” Daisy finished reading the first long chapter of her Eggsy-book and looked at her big brother. He had been asleep for the whole story, but Daisy knew that was okay.

 

Eggsy had helped her write the story in the first place, so he knew how it went. He knew how every chapter went. Mummy was out of the room talking to the nurses, but they didn’t sound sad so Daisy figured that meant Eggsy was going to be just fine. Mr. Harry had snuck in at some point and had listened to Daisy’s story with careful ears, and had only spoken up to help her with a word or two during the entire story. Daisy looked at the book again, and carefully turned some pages. 

 

The stories about Sunnyside Up and Luluflower and the top secret spyponies were her favorites. Eggsy helped her write them out in his careful handwriting, and Daisy illustrated them with crayons and stickers. Daisy remembered one chapter where Sunnyside Up broke his leg trying to catch a jewel thief at Princess Celestia’s Royal Ball, and when Eggsy helped her write it out, he’d had a cast on his arm, so he’d had to write it out with the other hand. The words were shakier, but Daisy could still read them. She looked up at Mr. Harry. He was watching her big brother with a nice look on his face, just like how Chestnut Oxford looked at Sunnyside Up.

 

“Mr. Harry?” Daisy asked slowly.

 

“Yes, my dear?” he responded.

  
  
“If I get some crayons, can you help me write the next story? I think Sunnyside Up is gonna be too hurt to write it.” 

 

Daisy looked up at Mr. Harry with big eyes. He looked back at her for a moment and smiled.

  
  
“Of course we can, my sweet girl. Come. Shall we see if Mr. Merlin has some hidden in his desk?”

  
  
“Yeah. Plus I think it would be good for Eggsy to read the story instead of writing it this time.”

  
“I quite agree, Ms. Luluflower. Let’s go find some crayons.”

 

Daisy couldn’t wait until Sunnyside Up brought Luluflower to the secret suit shop to go to spypony school. _She couldn’t wait._


	7. Art Chapter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, I am at awesomehartwintrash.tumblr.com. Feel free to send cookies, cats, and Colin Firth.


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